Life with therapy continues on. More therapies and doctors appointments on the calendar. Always looking and hoping that we will find the right one or the combination of many to help with Mike’s progress. So many times when we revisit with a doctor or therapist they always ask the question “Do you see any difference?” Sometimes it’s hard for Pete and I to see the difference since we are with Mike 24 hrs a day. It’s like seeing the hole in the wall: then after a couple of weeks of it being there, you don’t notice it. Lately, frustration seems to be noticeable. All of us being tested to the fullest with patience. Pete, Nick, and myself trying to be patient with Mike and all his needs, while we are trying to live a “normal” life and do our own things. Mike being frustrated to have to depend on all us for his needs. He would love to feed himself, get dressed by himself, or simply cover himself with a blanket at night. WOW! the simple tasks that we do everyday and take for grated. Mike is just wishing he could do them and not depend on anyone.
Two words that have been a survival for us. “TIME and PATIENCE”. So hard as human beings to live day by day with that thought because in today’s world, everything has to be fast. Food, cars, technology, and life in general. However, with TBI survivors you have to throw that thought away. It’s “TIME and PATIENCE”!!!! Many doctors or therapists will always tell you “It will take time”, or “You have to be patient”.
I will say that time and patience has helped Mike through his therapy. He had always done things fast throughout his life. Hurrying to get work done, talking fast, or rushing to get somewhere. Now, he sometimes grits his teeth or takes deep breaths to get things under control. So proud of him to realize that “TIME and PATIENCE” are on his side.
Mike’s hard work seems to be paying off with his balance. Acupuncture, lazer therapy, determined therapists and trainers have helped along the way. We had a great day at Next Steps, were Mike stood by himself with no cane or trainer holding him for 2 minutes. 2 WHOLE MINUTES!!! A big accomplishment. Although it hasn’t happened again. This is where “TIME and PATIENCE” come in. You would think his brain got it. Wrong… We have learned that if he does something once, it doesn’t always mean he can do it from now on. We are feeling more comfortable when we stand him up or transfer him because of his balance being much better.
Last Friday we had an appointment with Dr. Maze, a Neuro eye doctor. You see, Mike lost his vision in his right eye due to the accident and TBI. Myself being in that field for over 30 yrs found it disturbing of the vision loss. We had him tested awhile ago by my brother-in-law and my old boss. Both concluded that the vision was gone. Again being stubborn, I felt we needed to to bring Mike to a specialist. Someone who has dealt with TBI survivors. Many other TBI people we know had success with this doctor after many had told them there was no hope. After having one of our two part visits with Dr. Maze, he said he is optimistic that Mike could have some vision in that eye. So here we go again with more therapy. After flooding Mike’s eye with a bright light , his pupil began to respond. I try not to think of days when Mike was playing football and baseball, having great vision and depth perception. Worrying about if the day comes for him to drive again. Mike reassuring me that it’s not a big deal if he doesn’t get the vision back. His answer is “God gave a us 2 eyes for a reason”. Gotta love his attitude!!!
Remember The Less Fortunate:
The tree and lights are up against my better judgement. A chore I used to enjoy but dreaded it this year. Again, doing what is best for my family. Hearing Mike blasting Christmas music and singing along, and bringing me to tears. Watching many Christmas shows on The Family channel and sobbing at every Hallmark movie that showed the true meaning of Christmas. This is the time of year when people need to realize how fortunate they are with their families and friends. We have learned a life lesson after Mike’s accident. It isn’t about what we buy or spend on someone. It’s about the thought and time you give that person. Especially the less fortunate. Mike and ourselves have lost many friends since the accident. All of us trying to understand why they don’t call or come around. Not accepting that they don’t know what to say or do. That’s a coward way of leaving. Many times telling Mike it’s ok, you’ll make new friends. It’s funny how a tragedy can bring light to an issue. You may think you have many friends but when times get rough, you are blessed if you have one standing by your side. We have been so blessed by family and friends who still come around or talk with us. However, what surprises me the most are the people who really didn’t know us and support us all the time. These are the people that you want to call friends.
As Christmas is approaching and The New Year begins please remember the less fortunate. Merry Christmas Everyone, and as our Christmas card said “May the Miracle of Christmas make you a Believer!